The Last Resort Dating Service

Last Resort Dating Service

Too busy, shy, or addicted to the net to meet real people? Give us a try! It's free and confidential.

Name:
Sex:	M F R
Seeking:	M F R
Age:
Height:	feet inches
Weight:
	Is this your real age, height, and weight? Yes I lied
	What other ways have you tried to meet people? Singles Bars Getting Married Skywriting Breaking and Entering

Part II: Attitude Profile

Please rate each question on a scale of 1-5, where 1 means strongly disagree, 3 means neither agree nor disagree, and 5 means strongly agree.

1 2 3 4 5

I would pay money to see a singing mule.

Never take more hostages than you need.

I get defensive when people hurl things at me.

I have difficulty buttoning things.

The way to a man's heart is through his chest.

I find it hard to be around people with personalities.

Dick Clark is the Antichrist and must be stopped.

One can never know enough about fungus.

Nothing matters but me.

I would purchase a book about saliva.

Part III: Multiple Choice

Please choose as many as apply.

Meeting someone and expanding my social life is important because:

I'm boring and everyone I know found out.
I enjoy ruining others' lives.
I must recruit more disciples for my world domination crusade.

You can tell a lot about a person by:

Kidnapping their parents.
Examining their dirty undergarments.
Standing outside their home day and night for six months.

The main problem with the singles scene is:

Too much emphasis on meeting nice people and being happy.
There aren't enough activities for me and (pet).
The lights in singles bars don't hide scar tissue.

I am currently:

Married or single, whichever is more convenient.
Eligible for parole in six months to a year.
Painting my kneecaps in assorted colors.

Check off any you will not date:

Smokers
Bankers
Animated Characters
Scrabble Cheaters

You're done! Now just press the button and you will be taken to your soul mate's homepage.

1	2	3	4	5
					I would pay money to see a singing mule.
					Never take more hostages than you need.
					I get defensive when people hurl things at me.
					I have difficulty buttoning things.
					The way to a man's heart is through his chest.
					I find it hard to be around people with personalities.
					Dick Clark is the Antichrist and must be stopped.
					One can never know enough about fungus.
					Nothing matters but me.
					I would purchase a book about saliva.

Meeting someone and expanding my social life is important because:
	I'm boring and everyone I know found out. I enjoy ruining others' lives. I must recruit more disciples for my world domination crusade.
You can tell a lot about a person by:
	Kidnapping their parents. Examining their dirty undergarments. Standing outside their home day and night for six months.
The main problem with the singles scene is:
	Too much emphasis on meeting nice people and being happy. There aren't enough activities for me and (pet). The lights in singles bars don't hide scar tissue.
I am currently:
	Married or single, whichever is more convenient. Eligible for parole in six months to a year. Painting my kneecaps in assorted colors.
Check off any you will not date:
	Smokers Bankers Animated Characters Scrabble Cheaters