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| jenni |
myanmar knows this. so do eritrea, slovakia, and the democratic republic of the congo. there are ways one can hide, somehow manage to evade colonialists, guerilla terrorists, cia assassins, arms traders, nike sweatshops, possibly even amnesty international. but no one will escape the far-reaching grasp of wal-mart corporation. it's best not to even try. |
| heather |
Ah yes, I remember the Backwards Nation well. Such a delightful place. A place where the average citizen carried in their pockets more computing power than the average public school and used it to communicate to their friends. A place where the best entertainment to be found was a competition pitting midgets against an elephant in a battle of strength. Oh how I loved that place. Where tasting good and killing you fast went hand in hand, and the right to own own a killing machine was prized above all else. What else can be said about them? Not much. We don't really miss them or their toxic sludge. Maybe we miss the TV.
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| jay |
well, it's an embarrassing story, but one that i guess needs to be told. i doubt i'll be getting paroled if i don't make peace with the parole board, explain what happened and tell that i'm sorry for what i've done. i'm ready to move on and keep a clean nose. it started out all well and good. we met in a bar. held hands after a few drinks. kissed after a few more. she warned me that she sometimes wet the bed, i told her that it was alright and that we'd deal with it if it happened. she smiled. drunk-and-about-to-hook-up diplomacy has always been something i've been good at. we went back to my place, had a few more drinks and started making out on the couch. we moved to the bedroom and after an hour of circus-like sex-acrobatics, collapsed into a self-satisfied pile and fell asleep. i remember having a marvelous dream. i was hiking in iceland. trekking across the glaciers. finding hidden valleys. seeing humpback whales frolic way off in the distance. having curious penguins walk up to my feet and beg for fish. taking a short drive outside of reykjavik, stripping naked and jumping into the hot springs. mmmmm. bliss. wait. i thought these hot springs were kept hot by lava. why is this one getting cold?! my eyes opened wide and i sat bolt-upright in bed, realizing what had happened. i flew into a rage and shoved her out of bed, which is how she split her head open on the nightstand and lost consciousness. still furious, i decided to strip the bed and wash the sheets before i called the ambulance to take her to the hospital. i know now that it was a mistake and that the first thing i should have done was call 911 and get help. i still believe that charging me with assault and battery was a little harsh given the circumstances and that only in this backwards nation of ours could a jury of my peers convict me for a drunken mistake such as that one. my feelings about that aside, i am truly sorry. i'm looking forward to continuing my aa meetings and beginning anger management classes. and if i ever meet that girl again, i'm going to let someone else take her home. |
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